Paradise Lost
    Unfortunately, it didn't stay that way. Still, I guess we should at least be thankful that the title didn't utilize another one of those brilliantly sublime puns on the word "slide" like "PARASLIDE LOST", "PARADISE LOSLIDE", or "SLIDE PARADISE SLIDE LOST SLIDE SLIDE."

    This episode is proof that the lousy stories didn't just start with Kari Wuhrer, even though much of the lousy acting did. But I defy anyone to explain how/why anyone in the production could justify the existence of this episode. In a series based on the premise of travelling to other worlds, there is no way to justify an episode about some worm-worshipping hicks in a small town that shows nothing of the world outside. This may as well have been an episode of OUTER LIMITS.

NAME THAT RIP-OFF:

  • TREMORS, anyone? Even the scene where a tractor is partially pulled underground is similar to a scene from that movie.

  • STAR TREK: THE DEVIL IN THE DARK. The eggs of the worm (which looked like balloons covered in soap suds) are reminiscent of finding the eggs of the Horta creature in the classic Trek episode.

  • BLOOD BEACH.

  • Any schlock horror film utilizing a town with a secret, or simple townsfolk that are not what they seem (an episode of X-FILES did something similar as well).

THE CRINGEE AWARD:

    Wow, a three-way tie. The Cringee for this episode goes to Parker, Bud and Sheriff Burke (AKA: Larry, Curly and Moe). These characters are so insipid that they make Chakotay, Paris and Kim from VOYAGER look like Oscar nominees. Parker is so faceless that I didn't even realize it was him who captured Wade at the restaurant until he tied her up in his house! Bud acted like an obnoxious moron and therefore the only way to tell him from the rest of the Cringee winners was by the way he dressed. As for the sheriff, the less said the better, though given his performance I have to wonder if it was just a coincidence that the guy cast in this "pivotal" [*snicker*] role had the last name of "Youngblood". Seems to me that the irony of that casting is the only way to explain this casting decision. Well, that or the people responsible are clinically braindead. Or both.

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT BETTER:

  • These townsfolk are great at hiding secrets. They all go to the restaurant for wormslime as a large group and they don't even lock the door!

  • It is not raining when Wade goes into the restaurant, but when she passes a window it is pouring outside.

  • How is the worm leaving a slime trail above ground when it is largely subterranean? If it surfaces and leaves the trail, why are there no holes in the ground where it came out?

  • How the &*%#$ did Parker discover that eating worm slime makes you stay young? Just like anyone with an ounce of common sense, upon finding a trail of slime on the ground he likely started eating it. It's a good thing he didn't work at a sewage treatment plant.

  • And since Trudy said Parker was trying to kill the worm when he found the substance, how'd he discover the slime keeps them young until the day they die? I guess he just decided, "Hey, maybe I'll eat this slime from the giant, killer worm for the next 40 years and see if I age."

DISASTROUS DIALOGUE:

  • "Get out. Get out. Leave before it is too late," Trudy pleads to Wade, perhaps trying to save Sabrina from the upcoming Rickman arc.

  • The Sheriff says he went to Michael's "base camp", but the police cop left out that Michael Mike was eaten consumed by a monster creature.

  • "Oh Mr Arturo, we're so happy that you're here" - says the receptionist at the hotel as an afterthought. I always say things like that to people I have just met.

  • Sheriff Jerk (Burke) essentially says that he doesn't know why the creature is running amok and is eating the townsfolk, but on the bright side, they got more slime to eat! What a consolation.

  • "Slow down, don't waste it. Every drop is precious." says Burke, as though he's talking to a bunch of kids. I guess father knows best.

  • "Hard to believe a place called Paradise could be the setting for something so horrible," says Wade, apparently referring to this episode as a whole, or perhaps foreshadowing THIS SLIDE OF PARADISE.

  • "54 years of sacrifices, all so a few people could stay perpetually young. Makes you sick just thinking about it." If Rembrandt is referring to the premise of this episode, he's bang-on!

  • "After 1949, there were 27 deaths. SINCE 1949, there have been 3."

    Now maybe it is just me, but "AFTER 1949" seems to be the exact same thing as "SINCE 1949" which rather begs the question, "What the hell is Arturo talking about?"

  • "Damn. Confound you! Teh. Guh." Arturo gives the killer worm a piece of his mind. His restraint under such stressful circumstances is commendable, even if it isn't very believable.

  • Action Hero Quinn says, "I hear you, I'm just not listening," apparently voicing what the producers/writers were thinking of fan complaints about the direction the show had taken. Quinn, his S1 persona captured perfectly, then beats up the guy.

  • "I really suggest that you stay there." Quinn sounds like he's doing a bad Clinton impersonation before kneeing Bud in the head.

  • "That guy had a serious problem." Quinn describes the motivation of Bud and all the other characters in this episode. The use of past tense implies that Quinn thinks beating the guy up fixed his problem. Unless his problem was too many unbroken bones, I doubt it worked. Though it might have done wonders for Peckinpah.

  • "Sounds like drums," says Lori. Sounds like someone needs a dialogue coach.

  • "I've got plans for the two that are left and they don't include rescooin' you." Why would his plans include rescuing Wade? He's the one holding her captive. And what does "Rescooin'" mean anyway?

  • "What's going on in this town? Why do people keep disappearing."
    "You won't like the answer."
    "Trust me, I want to know anyway."
    "You won't hear it from me."
    "Whatever this town is into, we are not going to be a part of it."
    "It's too late man." (Bud sounds like a hippy when he says this)
    "You'd better start talking," says Quinn as he adjusts Bud's hat while overemoting and looking like an enraged ape with his chin thrust forward.

    Quinn and Bud rock back and forth as each takes his turn delivering his line.
    This dialogue is pointless and the way the two speak their lines makes each sentence seem even more like disconnected filler than it was written (quite a feat unto itself). It may as well have been:

    "Where'd you buy that hat?" (Quinn leans forward)
    "You couldn't afford one." (Bud leans forward, Quinn leans back)
    "Trust me, my bank account is fine." (Quinn leans forward, Bud leans back)
    "We don't have a bank in town. It burned down last week." (Bud leans forward, Quinn leans back)
    "I'll borrow money from someone else then and I'll buy a hat like yours. I'll have nothing to do with your bank." (Quinn leans forward, Bud leans back)
    "You're too late, all the stores are closed." (Bud leans forward, Quinn leans back)
    "You'd better start talking." (Quinn leans forward, Bud leans back).

  • "If you become one of us, Wade, you'll be sacrificed with the others. You choose this, and you choose to be young for the rest of your life."
    Cynic's response: HUH?! If Wade chooses to become one of them by eating the slime, she will be sacrificed, but on the other hand, if she chooses to eat the slime she will stay young (becoming one of the villagers) the rest of her life (which apparently wouldn't be long since he said she'd be sacrificed if she chose to be one of them)?!!! No wonder she clubbed him with a vase. Then again, maybe she was just trying to knock some sense into the clown.

  • Trudy is terrible. "At least when I die, I won't have the blood of innocents on my hands." Sure, unless you consider the fact that she has stood by for over 40 years while the local yokels fed strangers to the radioactive worm, or that her helpful advice to leave was so vague that it only made herself look senile and resulted in people ignoring her. After all, if it worked, don't you think someone would have called for an investigation into the disappearances?

  • Trudy continues with, "Every time you feed someone to that BEAST, you get one step closer to HELL!" I wonder when she graduated from the Kari Wuhrer School of Line Delivery...

  • "Don't start with me," whines Parker to Trudy like a child complaining about having to clean his room. It's his party and he can feed people to killer worms if he wants to.

  • Upon capturing Wade, Sheriff Jerk says, "HA HA, optimistic, aren't ya? Come on, come on." This guy is almost as cartoonish as Rickman. He shows no normal reaction to the risk he runs of having his secret discovered. He blatantly acts like he doesn't care about finding Michael or helping anyone do anything which could only serve to make people suspect something is going on.

  • When the sheriff asks Parker what is on his face (I'd have to say it was egg for being conned into starring in this episode), he sounds like the dad from the Twisted Sister video for WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT. "What kind of a man are you? You're worthless and weak. You do nothing, you are nothing, you sit in here all day eating that sick, repulsive, worm-slime goo!" He could have just pulled out one of those STOKER guitars and blasted the sheriff through the wall instead. The sad thing is, a TS video where a kid turns into Dee Snyder and his brothers turn into members of the band who beat up their obnoxious father is more believeable and better acted than this travesty of an episode.

  • When saying where the cave is, Trudy says, "The cove" twice, squinting stupidly like this is so terrifying that we should be changing our underwear after this revelation.

  • Wade says, "Trudy said he was fed to something that lives by the ocean" as though she couldn't care less (maybe she thought they fed the writer of this episode to the worm), and shakes her head like she is thinking just how stupid that really is.

  • Wade also says, "It has to do with the stuff that the creature leaves behind. The professor" like Arturo is what the creature leaves behind. Given S3's track record, it's a wonder they didn't use this to bring back Arturo after his over-the-top death in EXODUS.

  • "Time to put a shlug on the barby." What is a "shlug" exactly?

  • "You must destroy this horror, Mister Mallory. Destroy it utterly," says JRD, referring to all extant copies of this episode.

  • "Don't overstay your welcome," says Arturo, helpfully telling Quinn not to stay long enough to be blown up.

NOT SO SPECIAL EFFECTS:

  • The trail of the worm as it chases people looks like the line from an etch-a-sketch.

  • When Michael is pulled under, you can see the plastic sheet under the sand (by his right hand), as well as a loop of rope which is visible everytime someone gets pulled down on the beach!!

  • That risible death of the sheriff. The worm looks hilarious. Burke stands there shooting sideways at it and lets it bite him. He then slides sideways like someone moving a cardboard cutout side to side while Quinn hugs the wall and has stagehands throw dirt and blue goo at him!

DEFIANCE OF PHYSICS/BIOLOGY/LOGIC:

  • Needless to say, the idea of a mutation like that worm arising from an explosion in a uranium mine is so stupid that I'd have to say that the "writer" wrote this because he lost a bet.

  • Within the first minute we get the most interesting exposition about geology:

    "I'm faxing you copies of some weird seismic activity, but it's not geological. It's coming from . . . underground or something, I don't even know."

    Given that "seismic" refers to earthquakes, I should hope it *IS* geological, otherwise it wouldn't be seismic. This clown then follows up by saying he's not certain if it is coming from underground!! Yeah, it's just an earthquake in the air. Pfff.

  • Interesting seismograph too. It can be adapted to follow giant worms as they move underground like some sort of a sonar. I almost expected to hear a ping sound. And if he is looking for oil, why is he using a seismograph?

  • "I think I lost power or something," Michael says. What was the first clue? The way the lights and everything shut down, perhaps? Maybe it was seismic in nature . . .

  • Before Bud says "Whew! Run boy. Run!", Michael is clearly standing in front of the cave and looking up at the three country hicks, yet a couple shots later, the three men are no longer visible on the ledge where they should be.

  • It would appear that Michael runs to the left side of the worm, but in the next shot he is still on the right side and this does not match up in the next shot from above. After falling twice, he runs to the left side of the beach and falls again (took track lessons from Charlie O, it seems), but instead of having the water to his right, it is behind him and he falls, bathed in the blue light coming from the cave of the worm which is in another part of the beach altogether. ARGHHH!!!

  • He appears to fall in the above shot, but is running full tilt in the next. There is no sign of the worm trail when he falls. Even funnier, the trail of the worm, when shown from above is at odds with where he appears to have fallen (eg: in front of the cave). This doesn't match up with the distance he appears to have moved either. In one scene he is running full tilt away from the cave, but in the next shot he appears to have barely moved! In short, the opening teaser is about as consistent as the plot of this nightmare.

  • Lori says, "The field transmitters have a three day memory." Sure. Good to have a system that forgets the data if it is older than three days. And why did Bud and friends leave all the stuff there to be found anyway? If people can find the equipment, then they are more likely to suspect something has gone wrong.

  • The seismic tracking device isn't limited to where the sensors are. It can be carried around to follow the worm anywhere it goes! Or are we expected to believe that Michael set up sensors all over the landscape?

  • In the search for information on Michael, Arturo went to a cemetery and counted the number of deaths since 1949!! Arturo later says the townsfolk don't have any " . . . people over 30" and that "Apart from Trudy, [he's] the oldest person in town." I guess after his survey of the cemetery, he felt a need to do the same with every living person as well, asking everyone their age. It's a wonder that he didn't give the mean, median, mode, standard deviation, standard error, z-score and an analysis of variance of the population to go with it.

  • Talking about people being tight lipped, why not ask Trudy? She seemed more than willing to spill her guts, albeit in the most idiotic manner possible. Come to that, why does Parker/Sheriff Jerk/Bud let her stay in the restaurant near the door where she can grab and warn people as they come in?

  • In spite of Rembrandt having shot the gas can with a flare, the container remains intact, even after the explosion.

  • If the worm leaves slime when eating people, then why do the townsfolk encourage having people sucked under the sand of the beach where no slime is given off? Do they just want to keep the worm alive so it can eat the townsfolk and THEN deposit the goo?

GRATUITOUS SHOTS:

  • Lori gets the honour of being the eye-candy for this episode, perhaps to distract people from the plot as much as possible. It didn't work.

  • When Lori asks the sheriff for help, her shirt is unbuttoned. Downpours always make me want to unbutton my shirt . . .

  • The camera follows Wade's chest as she descends the stairs at the restuarant to discover the town meeting.

  • Lori wears a short skirt throughout the latter part of the episode.

  • For some reason, Lori's breasts get considerably larger at the end of the episode, especially noticable when she says "Thanks again for everything." That uranium mine works wonders, doesn't it? Apparently it doesn't just make worms larger . . . I shudder to think what it did to Quinn (perhaps it enlarged Jerry's ego).

    Either way, it even seems that the lighting is focussed on Lori's chest, despite the fact that she is completely in the dark in the previous shot. She is also closer to Quinn in this shot than possible given her position in the previous one.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?:

  • Wade suddenly likes a guy she appears to have only exchanged a couple words with. Surprise, surprise, he turns out to be a bad guy. What was the point?

WHERE DID THAT GO?:

  • Trudy's sense. Why keep spouting stupid, cryptic warnings instead of something that doesn't make her look like a senile nutcase? It's as bad as those mysterious informants on the X-FILES who speak in enigmatic riddles that are of almost no help (rather than just spit out what they're trying to say) and even when they die use their last words to utter some equally cryptic gobbledegook instead of being straightforward.

  • Quinn's propensity for calling Arturo "professor". When rescuing him from the worm, he calls him "Max".

LAUGHABLE SCENES:

    Geez, where to start?

  • Quinn pops up from behind the hill and sees Bud barely lift the tire iron and he automatically assumes something is wrong, even though he should barely be able to see what Bud is doing. He then shows what a good samaritan he is by saying the gang will "take it from here". How many sliders does it take to change a tire? (I'll let someone else come up with the punchline to this joke).

  • And what was Lori doing anyway when Bud tried to club her? It looked like she was just jiggling the nuts on the wheel.

  • Even though it is raining when Lori arrives with Quinn and the others, the rain isn't falling on her vehicle. In fact, her windshield is perfectly dry! Maybe that is why she is so unconcerned about leaving her roofless vehicle out in the rain.

  • Quinn says he holds the world record in tire changing. I'd guess he holds the record for the slowest tire change in history, judging by how fast he puts those bolts on.

  • For no apparent reason, Lori feels a need to say "me and my assistant are looking for oil deposits" to a bunch of people she has just met.

  • Lori mentions that Michael left a strange message on her machine. "Hey HEY, what the, what the Hell are you doing, uh, uh, I'm a (some gibberish), oo, ah, where are you taking me?" I'd say "strange" is a bit of an understatement. Her level of worry doesn't seem to imply that she thought a whole lot of this message. After all, that's a pretty common message to get on your answering machine, isn't it? Some people prefer to say hello, others prefer to say "What the HELL are you doing? Where are you taking me?!"

  • Why do Remmy, Arturo and Wade walk off while the woman talks to Quinn anyway, only to turn around and ask for a ride after Quinn has laughably changed the tire (with a lot of grunts as though he is exerting himself to put those bolts on). The guy can punch someone into unconsciousness, but he can't use a tire iron to fasten on a tire.

  • After having subdued the sheriff, the gang somehow leaves him in such a way that he is able to come after them soon after when they go to the beach. What did they do? Just get his word that he'd leave them alone?

  • Lori says that Michael loved discovering new things. I'll bet he wasn't too thrilled about discovering the giant worm though . . .

  • Upon entering the diner, a kindly old woman (possibly played by Tracy Tormé in disguise) offers Sabrina Lloyd some career advice, telling her "Leave while you can, listen to me!" before Parker (possibly played by Peckinpah) pulls Sabrina away. Trudy seems to vanish in the next shot, though Quinn's head may just be blocking her. That enlarging radiation must be everywhere, or perhaps it is just Jerry's head swelling . . .

  • Wade must have walked right at Trudy judging by the way she seems to veer right at her upon entering the restaurant.

  • The worm gets a mailman, but doesn't pull him under. Instead, it is content just to wreck the guy's hat and leave some bloody mail lying around, though the mailman only has a cut on his arm.

  • When the worm goes after Quinn when he goes to get the ball, the etch-a-sketch trail pushes up grass perfectly evenly. And how did Lori not see the trail following Quinn?

  • Rather than throw the soccer ball back to the kids immediately, Quinn feels that he has to torment the kids by being a bully to impress Lori and holding the ball until he's finished blabbing to her. After Quinn's anemic kick, he walks like a marionette to retreive the soccer ball. He looks like a reject from THUNDERBIRDS, or STINGRAY! " 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Sliders are go!"

  • After giving the ball back to the kids, Quinn stares at them like he's hung-over.

  • Wade and Remmy don't seem to notice how much the waiter ages after he dies.

  • When Wade is caught spying at the diner, her captor, perhaps speaking to the viewing audience about this episode says, "You shouldn't have seen this."

  • Arturo is pretty dense. When told he is needed to identify a body, he says he doesn't know anyone in town. I know the sheriff is a moron, but I doubt even he would be dumb enough to ask a stranger to identify the body of someone in town. Arturo also assumes it is Wade, when it could also have been Lori.

  • There are stagelights in the water aimed at the beach to light the shot and are visible in the background when the worm goes after Arturo!

  • The dimensions of the beach seem to change. Arturo's movements do not mesh with the bird's eye shots as he weaves one way, but there is no indication of it in the next scene. He turns, then he seems to be running straight, as though he never turned. The footprints in the sand bear this out. The creature displaces dirt as it chases him, but this is not shown in the above shot either.

  • You can also see a dip in the ground where the worm's path was going to be traced (where the dirt is pushed up as it moves around) in the ground-level shot of Arturo running.

  • Arturo then proceeds to look in one direction while trying to spear the worm with a conveniently placed piece of wood, not thinking that it could be anywhere else and not looking behind him.

  • When Arturo sinks into the ground, he looks like he's walking into the hole. The way he thumps the stick against the sand as he goes under makes him looks like a baby having a tantrum. You can also see a rope looped near his right hand as he sinks.

  • Just before the commercial break, when the worm then moves above ground, the sand parts like water, not staying displaced and not leaving a trail in its wake.

  • Quinn decides to wait until it gets light before investigating further. So where did Quinn and Lori stay? What did they do with Bud? Did they just leave him unconscious on the road?

  • After Wade is captured and asks what they did to the professor, only THEN does Trudy spill the beans and babble all the town's secrets. Sure would have helped about 40 minutes ago...

  • The killer saran-wrapping, immortality-slime-trailing worm was created by an explosion in a uranium mine!!! Uh huh, riiiiight. Did the explosion give Parker superhuman powers as well? Trudy also sounds out of breath, straining to get the last words out, as though someone suddenly realized that the episode was almost over with nothing important happening and told her "Explain it all fast! We're almost out of time!".

  • Parker and the clerk keep pictures of themselves from the 40's lying around. Nice way to not arouse suspicion.

  • Quinn talking tough to Bud as Remmy is locked up. Did nobody in the town think it weird that Quinn was dragging Bud around with his hands bound? And what did Quinn and bimbo do with him all that night?

  • Action hero Quinn beats in the door to the cells when all he had to do was open it normally.

  • Lori says she knows where Parker's house is because it is listed on one of Michael's charts. Yes, anyone prospecting for oil using Michael's notes will know that the oil deposit is exactly 2 miles from Parker's house (drawn in crayon with a little stickman labelled as 'Parker'), just like a real geologist would do.

  • Remmy holds Bud with one hand, through the bars of his cell which would be pretty easy to escape.

  • Action hero Quinn grabs a shotgun from outside the doorway to the cells and turns into Linda Hamilton (pumping it with one hand like in Terminator 2). Apparently the loaded shotgun was safely stored just outside the prison cell area (and not in a case) where anyone could grab it. Quinn then shoots the lock and the door slides open gently.

  • Parker tries to feed the blue slime to a tied-up Wade like he would feed a baby (Maybe this and Arturo's baby-tantrum were some kind of symbolism of the quest for youth. NAH!) Perhaps he would have had more success if he made airplane noises as he flew the spoon to her mouth.

  • "I'll be a good husband, just ask Trudy," Parker says. Would this be the same Trudy he called a fool a moment ago? And when you consider that this guy seems to like dragging women around, tying them up and force-feeding them slime, I doubt Trudy's word would mean a heck of a lot. She'd probably just give some enigmatic response and then spill the beans about him after the wedding anyways, judging by her previous behaviour.

  • What happened to Trudy in the ensuing melee anyway? She didn't even come out to see what was going on after her husband struggles with Wade, gets hit in the head with a vase, after Wade is dragged back in by the sheriff and her husband is shot to death.

  • The sheriff runs to the door before he can even see it is Wade who is coming out. Or does he always dash after people who open their doors?

  • That stupid fight between the Sheriff Jerk and Parker. We get treated to yet another gun-goes-off-who-got-shot? sequence. Then Action Hero Quinn comes in and punches the sheriff in the face, making sure to say "Burke" first. Quinn and Remmy then point their guns at the sheriff, but look in the other direction at Parker's body. Smart.

  • Funny how Parker's head moves as he ages.

  • After all this, THEN Trudy appears, showing no concern for her dead husband and suddenly becomes a fountain of wisdom telling everything to the gang.

  • Lori walks awfully far away from the group on the beach before anyone notices. In fact, it appears as though they go out of their way to not notice her walking off. And how did she not know the worm was there using her tracker. If she did know, how'd she get caught. The way she runs toward the group makes no sense as she turns, but appears to be running straight ahead later. She also leaves no footprints when they show the full length shot of the beach while she runs from the etch-a-sketch. You can see the trail where the worm will go before it does (ground-level shot) and the sand is smoother in the full length shot of the beach than it was when they showed a closeup of the worm chasing Lori.

  • The way Lori gets pulled in looks stupid as she keeps her left arm up against her body while being pulled straight down. It looks like a bad impersonation of the Statue of Liberty. If the worm had left her stuck like that, then they could have ripped off PLANET OF THE APES and had Quinn fall to the sand, pounding the ground and crying "You maniacs! You blew it (the worm) up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!"

  • Quinn's expression as Lori is pulled under looks like he is trying to solve a tricky math problem.

  • The posture of Wade and Rembrandt as Lori is pulled under suggests that they don't really care (who could blame them?). Perhaps this lack of concern explains why they stand around on the sand while Quinn investigates the cave later, rather than standing on some rocks.

  • Why is the cave glowing blue?

  • When sheriff Jerk starts shooting, Quinn runs like a coward (abandoning Wade and Remmy) and goes behind some rocks, but in the shot where Remmy is firing back with the shotgun, Quinn is still running to the rock and this time Wade is at his side. This is about as consistent as the shots of the beach.

  • What a stupid shootout. It looks like the rock in front on the sheriff is being hit with pellets, not shotgun rounds. The shootout was also poorly done as Remmy and Sheriff Jerk just fire at each other in spite of the fact that the other is safely under cover!

  • Remmy's idea of covering fire them is to fire off two shots, then waste precious seconds as he lets Wade and Quinn run out into the line of fire before he starts shooting again. With that kind of military training, is it any wonder Earth Prime is overrun by Kromaggs?

  • Sheriff tells Remmy to put up his hands and step out after trying to kill him. Pfff. Yeah, that should work. Granted, he may have figured that since everything everyone else in the episode does was stupid, Remmy would just go along with the crowd.

  • The sheriff walks right towards the gas can which for some reason is surrounded by a mound of dirt (which was not there before and which disappears between shots) before Remmy shoots it. Quinn clearly left the gas can to the left of the cave (near the edge of the cliffs), yet when the sheriff goes towards it, the can seems to be in the open. Also, after he gets blasted, Burke gets up as though nothing happened and runs into the cave from the other side (implying that Quinn had placed the gas can on the opposite side of the cave). Even the distance from Rembrandt to the can seems to have changed!

  • The way Sheriff Nitwit walks to the gas can looks like he's constipated, or at best, bowlegged.

  • Lori recognizes Michael's conveniently placed watch (I'd recognize his Seiko anywhere, haha) and doesn't seem terribly concerned about his fate.

  • "Sheriff's got more ammo," announces Rembrandt to Quinn. Where's he getting that info? Quinn says there's an opening halfway down the cave (how'd he know?) and Remmy runs back the way he came, presumably the direction the sheriff is coming from.

  • The way Lori says she should say goodbye to the others seems like there was supposed to be some sexual tension between her and Quinn that she was breaking, though I sure never sensed it. After all, how could she NOT fall for someone as daring and dangerous as Quinn? *guffaw* Judging by her blasé reaction to seeing a wormhole open up in front of her, I'd say she isn't easily impressed.

  • Action Hero Quinn, always one to rush into danger, runs out of the cave as it explodes behind him, throwing him several feet into the air.

DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB:

  • "This place is a uranium mine. That could explain how it mutated."
    Quinn's explanation for the existence of a massive, carnivorous worm shows not only that he should stick to physics (which he doesn't seem to know much about either at times) but that he's also a numbskull. Come to that, how he knew it was a uranium mine by looking at the walls is anybody's guess.

  • "He's in a state of suspended animation," says Quinn of Arturo. If by that he means: "He's wrapped in Saran wrap", then he is probably right. Perhaps the creature should have used a ziplock bag to seal in the freshness.

CYNIC'S PROGNOSIS:

    YEEEEEKH! What a lousy episode, chock full of stupid characters doing stupid things for stupid reasons. Even the premise is stupid! We get treated to numerous instances of dialogue that makes no sense ("after 1949" vs "since 1949") and a beach/cove that changes dimensions/directions seemingly at will. Throw in some low production values (seeing lights in the background of the beach, seeing the rope where people are pulled under the sand) and sprinkle generously with bad acting and what you have is a recipe for disaster.

    I've barely even scratched the surface of all the problems with this episode. This went beyond "funny bad" straight into the realm of "bad bad bad bad (did I mention it was bad?) bad". To borrow a line from BLACKADDER, "Well, it started out bad, kinda tailed off in the middle and the less said about the ending the better."

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