J. Gomez: Welcome back to...Celebrity Deathmatch! If you missed the last fight between JOC and Robert Floyd, then you missed one hell of a fight.
J. Gomez: Nothing is more dangerous than an ego scorned. After some quick quips by Robert, Jerry returned the favor with his fighting skills. Then Robert turn Jerry's past against him and made an amazing comeback... but once again Jerry had Robert off guard and unleashed his "Bunghole Slide" move, making Robert slide in pieces.
N. Diamond: Even though Jerry had WON the fight, his ego was still bruised, due to the fact that Cleavant Derricks was the fans' favorite.
J. Gomez: Let's just hope that Jerry will calm himself down. If you are just tuning in, we have Mr. Derricks in the booth with us as a guest announcer.
C. Derricks: Thanks again, man. But like I said before, I'm just here to watch.
J. Gomez: No problem. Now lets get in to our second fight...
J. Gomez: As you may know, Sabrina was with Sliders when it first aired, and when the third season began on Fox, the networks wanted to make a few...changes.
N. Diamond: Such as Executive Producer David Peckinpah, who brought in several movie ripoffs to the set, and a very luscious young actress.
J. Gomez: That actress was Kari Wuhrer, who played the hard-assed Maggie Beckett. It was said the character was added when Arturo died to add some conflict between the friendly Sliders group, but Peck used the character as eye candy throughout the latter part of the third season, despite the fact that her acting was so horrible, that the countless cleavage shots couldn't make up for it.
N. Diamond: It was obvious that the two actresses didn't get along during the season of bad scripts and concepts. But when 4th season contract negotiations came, David Peckinpah signed his female prospect and gave Sabrina the boot.
J. Gomez: And that feud is going to end...tonight. They are fighting for the title of Sliders Queen. But before we begin, let's view their stats:
Sabrina: Film and TV credits include "Sports Night", and the film "Fatherhood".
N. Diamond: Believe me, folks, differences like these will make this one hell of a fight. But from what I heard, as the seasons progressed, Kari's acting had gotten fairly decent.
<Sabrina walks down the blue aisle, waving to the crowd>
In the blue corner, known as the adventurous computer whiz Wade Welles....SABRINA LLOYD!
<Then Kari walks out, with a mixture of boos and hisses along with some whistles and cat calls>
And in the red corner, known at the busty pilot Magie Beckett.....KARI WUHRER!
D. Peckinpah <Waiting for her next to the ring>: Make me proud, babe!
<As Kari climbs in the ring, Peck slaps her butt>
Mills Lane: OK, both of you listen carefully, especially you Kari, all I want is a nice clean fight, now LET'S GET IT ON!
Kari: Hi Sabrina, long time no see, and how's the jackas..oh I mean, your husband.
Kari: See, you hit like a wimp...you might as well plead for mercy now...
N. Diamond: Whoa, this is starting to be the most entertaining catfight ever.
C. Derricks: I didn't know Sabrina had those kind of moves.
J. Gomez: It seems that Sabrina has the upper hand...
<While Sabrina was busy punching, Kari raised her legs up and kicked Sabrina off>
J. Gomez: Whoa, awesome turnaround by Kari.
Kari: That's it, bitch. I have no choice but to unleash my secret weapon.
J. Gomez: ...wait a minute...Kari is suddenly taking her shirt off... OH MY GOD! She's wearing a bionic bra!
Kari: Say goodbye bitch!
Kari: Game over, hon. <Kari starts to shoot, but it turns out that she was out of ammunition. Sabrina saw this window of opprtunity, and looked to the sidelines. She had an idea when she saw Tracy Torme drinking some bottled water.>
Sabrina: Hey Tracy! Can I borrow that for a sec?
<Sabrina rushed to a distracted Kari and shoved the nuzzle of the bottle into one of the turrets.>
Kari: Hey! Why you..<sparks starts flying>...huh...
J. Gomez: An amazing move by Sabrina.
C. Derrick: Uh oh..this doesn't look good.
*BioBra Ver. 5.2 is malfunctioning. The Self Destruct sequence has been activated. You have 20 seconds to remove the bra.*
<Kari tried frantically to remove the contraption herself, but to no avail.>
Kari: Dave! DAVE! Help me!
<Kari suddenly explodes in a ball of flame, following which her remains fall on the crowd>
Crowd Member: Hey, <holding up a silicone implant>, Look what I got!
Mills Lane: and the winner is...SABRINA!
J. Gomez: Unbelievable! It turns out that Sabrina's quick thinking led her to victory. She is rightly deserving for the Sliders Queen crown.
<Tembi Locke hand Sabrina the crown>
T. Locke: Great show, girl.
N. Diamond: It seems that old feuds are settled and new friendships are formed tonight.
Back to Stories & Novellas
Back to Gate Haven